At the age of four, I wanted to be eight. At the age of eigh... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"At the age of four, I wanted to be eight. At the age of eight, I wanted to be 16. At the age of 16, when I started driving, I wanted to be a Ferrari. And now, at the age of middle, I want to be Stalin’s mustache and matching armpit hair. But only for personal reasons, not political."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."
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"I applied for your love like a recent MBA grad might apply at Walmart today. I grew a beard on my chest and laughed through my ass just to get your attention."
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"I am the Guillotine of Love, and I will never lose my head over another woman again."
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"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
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"I want to learn the language of the sun, and burn Agatha’s eyes out with my love poems."
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