Before I speak, I have something important to say. - Groucho Marx

"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."

"Humor is reason gone mad."

"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."