More quotes by George Carlin

"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"Meow” means “woof” in cat."
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with."
"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."