#Brains

"To get him to agree, I put a gun to his head. To get him to not change his mind, I blew out his brains."

"I like living in my head because in there, everyone is kind and innocent. Once you start integrating yourself into the world, you realize that people are nasty, mean creatures. They're worse than zombies. People try to crush your soul and destroy your happiness, but zombies just want to have a little nibble of your brain."

"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."

"No book worth its salt is meant to put you to sleep, it's meant to make you jump out of your bed in your underwear and run and beat the author's brains out."

"I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge, and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry, I was a US politician’s ideal voter."

"His shelf. Good. Noodle dust. Decaying brain collecting dust. Must insert it back in skull—what was I thinking?"

"She has man's brain--a brain that a man should have were he much gifted--and woman's heart. The good God fashioned her for a purpose, believe me when He made that so good combination."

"A man paints with his brains and not with his hands."

"If football players wanted to protect their brains from injury they’d wear astronaut helmets. After all, astronauts have massive IQ’s, so wearing their protective headgear seems like a smart choice."

"Reading messed with my brain in an unaccountable way. It made me happy; or something."