"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"What's another word for thesaurus?"
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."