I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so... - Steven Wright
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it."
"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."