More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."