More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I had to put a stop to it because I suspected one of them of being a prostitute."
"Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?"And that answer, I'm afraid, is silence."
"I don’t remember my birth. I guess I got dementia at a young age."
"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."