"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."
"I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge."
"The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes."
"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."
"People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life."
"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."