Absence makes the heart grow fonder, until it stops beating.... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed."

"If you're a nobody, just imagine a lot of celebrities are in love with you. Narcissism is the best cure for attention deficit disorder."

"The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes."

"People are always insinuating that I’m rude. They say things like “Shh,” and “Careful what you say,” and “I think that guy’s listening in on our conversation."

"Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder."