I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all... - Jarod Kintz, How to construct a coffin with six karate chops

"The first step to running a successful business, is printing out pictures of all the luxury items you’re going to buy once you get rich."

"Who needs a large vocabulary when you can just make up any word at any time? It makes life a whole lot more emeaglibop."

"My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole."

"My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole."

"There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants."