More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If you have a broken heart, I’d like to fix it. Repairs start at just $69. Special delivery charges may apply."
"Her and I, we have a two chairs and a table kind of love. You should pull up a feeling and have a seat."
"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."
"Midnight is Hellen-Kelleresque, so if you ask me if I’m seeing anybody, I’ll ask you what time it is. Answers are always between 12:01 AM to 11:59 PM."
"If I could make tea out of your love, would it be hot, or iced? Would it be black, or green? Would it be sweet, or unsweet? Would you offer free refills?"