More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two."
"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."
"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."
"I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."