More quotes by Groucho Marx

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."
"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."
"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."
"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."