I never met a man that I didn't like. - Will Rogers

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."