More quotes by Steven Wright

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."