More quotes by Steven Wright

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote"so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote."