More quotes by Steven Wright

"In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it."
"What's another word for thesaurus?"
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."