More quotes by Steven Wright

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
"I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying."
"I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it."