I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraini... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."
"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."
"Between Portland and Seattle is a mint factory, and they made sweets like we made sweet love, and America needs more manufacturers like us."
"I can sell you wine and I can sell you flowers, but I can't sell you romance, because that comes from your heart, and it's free."
"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."
"Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."