For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. A... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."

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#humor #peace #death #relationships #Die #Family #Date #Rent #movie #Funeral #Stranger #word-junkies #grandpa #grandfather #hooker #movie-rental #prostitute #rent-a-movie #rental #rest-in-peace

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go."
"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."
"A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."