If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine rep... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."