If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine rep... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants."
"If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."