More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."