More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her."
"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."
"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."