More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"My advice for a person who's just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms...faster."
"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."