More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."
"I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."