More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs."
"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."
"I like to spoon after I fork."
"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."