More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."
"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."
"I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables."