More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other throat warmer, with the possible exception of your clenched hands around my neck."
"If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago."
"The Sacred and The Scared. Which of these two categories does your love fall under? I should write a love poem on a rolled-up scroll so you’d know which one categorizes mine."
"To get people to notice you, you must be unique. If I were invisible, everybody would see me for who I am as a person."
"I like coffee tables. I’m into drinkable furniture."