More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"
"I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning."
"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"One butterfly wing reflected wholly in a mirror won’t give flight. Let this be a lesson in love."
"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."