More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers."
"I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you."
"When I go off the grid, my main source of light will be fireflies. Oh, and the glow that will come from the epic love poem I am writing for you."
"My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that."
"Mainstream news wants to keep you as a useful idiot. Instead, try being a non-useful idiot."