"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."
"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."
"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."
"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."
"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."