More quotes by Steven Wright

"Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?"
"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."
"What's another word for thesaurus?"
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."