If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you... - Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."
"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"
"I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."