There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on th... - Steven Wright

"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it."