More quotes by Steven Wright

"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
"Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram."
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."