More quotes by Steven Wright

"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?"
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."