More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Our love went from fly to flower to butterfly, and it was meant to beautifully flutter, not sit still on a shelf like a trophy to be collected."
"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."
"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."
"After soul searching, I found myself. Then I found myself giving of myself to a charity that finds missing children. It's great to be found."