More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."
"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."