"If you're a nobody, just imagine a lot of celebrities are in love with you. Narcissism is the best cure for attention deficit disorder."
"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."
"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."
"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."
"If I weren’t too proud, I’d boast of my exaggerated opinion of myself."
"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."