"If you're a nobody, just imagine a lot of celebrities are in love with you. Narcissism is the best cure for attention deficit disorder."
"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."
"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."
"The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public programming."
"Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder."
"A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas."