I’m addicted to warm Thanksgiving bird meat, but I should ju... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."

"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."

"Spelling Bees are useless and unnecessary competitions. Before Microsoft Word and Google, Spelling Bees had value, but now they are all superflewus."

"In my memory her love shimmers, glimmers, and glitters the way light on black water reflects like diamonds, the treasure that was us."

"0 plus 100 equals 100. But so does 50 plus 50, only with more balance. Let this be a lesson in love."