More quotes by Steven Wright

"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
"What's another word for thesaurus?"
"Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for."
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."