"I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness."
"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."
"Sure, I had hopes and dreams before working at @McDonalds. I used to want to be a dancer and a gardener and grow movement on a farm in Iowa."
"I’m addicted to warm Thanksgiving bird meat, but I should just quit cold turkey. To me, the beginning of December is like leftover November."
"I don’t kind of like to be kind and like you—I love to be kind and love you."
"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."