"I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"I bleed ink for her, because her name is written on my heart. She’s the author of all the love I have to give."
"I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war be so romantic then? Then the U.S. could really show the world how much it loves it."
"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"