More quotes by George Carlin

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"