My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt... - Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

"And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate exam."

"I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer."

"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."

"I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much."

"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."