"Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake."
"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."
"And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate exam."
"I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating."
"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."
"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."