I’ve got a nice racket going. I make tennis ball swatters. M... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I bleed ink for her, because her name is written on my heart. She’s the author of all the love I have to give."

"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."

"I once saw the world’s ugliest baby drown. But then I realized, “That’s not a baby, that’s a log. And it’s not drowning, it’s burning.” I wonder what it did to deserve that? It was probably a heretic."

"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."

"Why sell farming equipment to farmers? I should cut out the middleman and sell tractors directly to people dining in restaurants."