More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When you’re embarrassed, you turn red. When I blush, I turn plaid. I network at kilt conventions, so even if I say something awkward I still look cool."
"My I love yous were watered down, which was how I was able to grow such a beautiful garden. I’m a relationship farmer, and I’m growing as a person."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."
"She looked, but she couldn’t see. She was wearing an emotional blindfold, and though she heard me say I love you, she just didn’t listen."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."