Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation.... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap."
"Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap."
"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"I know the X’s and O’s of football. I just don’t know the other 24 letters. And as a writer, this bothers me."
"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"I just got done digging a hole shaped like a human body. But I have no idea what to bury. I’ll probably hide all my love for you, like I would with any other treasure."