She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."
"I don't own the sunset, but I have a free yearly membership to stream whenever it's on, and this is a life perk that makes me wealthy."
"When I win, it’s because I’m skilled. When I lose, it’s because my opponent is lucky. But when I fall in love, it’s because I’m lucky and she’s skilled."
"Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a seriously starved midget for a week. Now with 33.3% reduced fat!"
"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."