More quotes by Groucho Marx

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others."
"Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]"
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."