#men-and-women

"The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."

"The difference between the love of a man and the love of a woman is that a man will always give reasons for loving, but a woman gives no reasons for loving."

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."

"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."

"I have to go. I have a finite amount of life left and I don't want to spend it arguing with you."

"She's a woman, you're a dude. You're not supposed to understand her. That's not what she's after.... She doesn't want you to understand her. She knows that's impossible. She just wants you to understand yourself. Everything else is negotiable."

"I live for sex. I celebrate it, and relish the electricity of it, with every fibre of my being. I can see no better reason for being alive."

"As I saw it, all my mother's life, my father held her down, like lead strapped to her ankles.She wasbuoyant by nature;she wanted to travel,go to the theater, go to museums.What he wantedwas to lie on the couchwith the Timesover his face,so that death, when it came,wouldn't seem a significant change."

"Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees."

"a wise woman puts a grain of sugar in everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her."

"Women, in general, will find it difficult to turn from a man and stop demanding that he meets their needs, provides security, and protects their identity, and return to me. Men, in general, find it very hard to turn from the works of their hands, their own quests for power and security and significance, and turn to me."

"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction."

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

"Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it."

"There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account."

"Miscommunication is endless."