"My kitchen sink has no truck attached. My love needs a waterproof suitcase in these Days of Desert and Dessert. Who are you going to come running to when the Ice Cream Man melts?"
"I have a Rubik’s Cube for a rearview mirror, because the past is the only time puzzle I can solve. My love for her only looks clear there."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"I’ve spent a lifetime learning to love—the lifetime of a chameleon. But hey, I’ve learned a lot in the last year, though you couldn’t tell because I camouflage my feelings."
"She's beautiful, but so what? If the University of Florida taught me anything, it's that beautiful women are everywhere. The trick is to find the diamond among all the glittering cubic zirconias."
"I make furniture that can be used as weapons. The most dangerous piece of furniture is the Loveseat."