"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed."
"I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I always say “Yield."
"Spelling Bees are useless and unnecessary competitions. Before Microsoft Word and Google, Spelling Bees had value, but now they are all superflewus."
"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."