#drinking

"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."

"Networking is drinking the nectar of interconnectedness. And I’ve been drinking since noon, so I may need @ryanlilly to drive me home."

"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."

"Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss."

"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."

"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."

"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I goTo heal my heart and drown my woeRain may fall, and wind may blowAnd many miles be still to goBut under a tall tree will I lieAnd let the clouds go sailing by"

"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."

"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."

"They should make cell phones that are dishwasher safe. My cup runneth over—especially since both our drinks are in one glass because I’m too lazy to load the shotgun."

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."

"The words “I love you” swim and swarm as they swirl and form fluidly, and if you are thirsty then how I feel about you is an extra large—with free refills."

"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."

"Water is translucent, but not invisible. But a glass half full is half translucent, half invisible, and you cannot drink what you cannot see, which may be why I am so thirsty for her love."

"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."

"I drank her essence, and it’s like she never existed and now I’m thirsty again. Let this be a lesson in love."

"The writer walks out of his workroom in a daze. He wants a drink. He needs it. It happens to be a fact that nearly every writer of fiction in the world drinks more whisky than is good for him. He does it to give himself faith hope and courage. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul and that I am sure is why he does it."

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"