That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone:... - Dorothy Parker

"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"

"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy."