The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone el... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When you’re embarrassed, you turn red. When I blush, I turn plaid. I network at kilt conventions, so even if I say something awkward I still look cool."

"On Knowledge: You know that I know you know, but I want you to know that I know you know I know you know I know. It’s important for you to know that, you know?"

"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."

"Losing your mind is preferable to losing your woman, because if you lose your woman you will also lose your mind, and then you’re left with nothing."

"My I love yous were watered down, which was how I was able to grow such a beautiful garden. I’m a relationship farmer, and I’m growing as a person."