More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When people ask me how I slept, I tell them I don’t know—I’ll have to ask The Professor, and read his notes on my performance."
"I know the X’s and O’s of football. I just don’t know the other 24 letters. And as a writer, this bothers me."
"I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded, which is safer than love."
"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."
"I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unless you enjoy networking in public restrooms."